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From WIC Bread to Ass Whoopins in 7 minutes Flat
How do two people who do not even know each other go from discussing WIC bread to @ss whoopins in 7 minutes flat and walk away like 2 psychologists who just did an hour long OPRAH special. How? well Ill tell you how.
It all started in the grocery store line with the clerk discussing the ungrateful white woman who just left the line while cussing at the clerk because she couldn't purchase her Wic bread since the store was out. (Oh did I say purchase" my bad" I mean she was pissed because she couldn't pick up her FREE bread)Why did it matter that she was white? It really shouldn't but we usually associate that kind of "ghetto" behavior with black people. I mean aren't WE the ones who are supposedly always wanting the free stuff. (NOT! but this is just the type of stereotypical thinking we are sick of). She she and I continue on to discuss how not only do white people want to steal our welfare and our WIC (LOL) but in their efforts to completely emulate the black culture they now dance on beat and are growing apple bottom booties at the rate of one white woman every 3 minutes. I mean really how and why are all these white girls popping up with the big, perfectly round ,"cant spill a drink on em if you tried, booties". Of course we can only assume they are growing these mega butts because the black men want all the best features of the white woman and the black woman all rolled into one. Well now they better look out because this is fast becoming the year of the black woman and white men are standing up and taking notice. We insist that black men will soon get jealous and see what they are missing but by then white men will have taken over over hearts and we'll be trading Denzel for Robert Downey Jr. Any way, why don't the black men want us? well they say we are too angry and have too many issues. Yeah we're pissed off . Pissed off at the lack of in home fathers and suitable partners who want to forge a real commitment that lasts past the inside of our thighs and maybe stand up and help raise their children. We're pissed off because we want more black men who make it out of poverty to return to the neighborhoods they escaped from and help improve our communities. Not just run off with the first blonde that gives them a hello and never look back. We are some strong pissed off b#tches. Tired of wearing the pants.However being a bitch has helped us single moms trying to keep our sons out of jail and our daughters from getting pregnant. On the up side thanks to technology the teens are smarter than ever but thanks to black folks still trying to be accepted and approved of we are chasing the almighty dollar harder than ever and leaving technology to raise many of our children. So on the downside our teens are violent as hell. They lack respect for themselves and authority with their pants sagging, wanna be grown selves. The girls aren't pregnant as much because they are having oral sex at 12 and saying they're still a virgin and ironically the young MEN have trouble finding a woman to lose THEIR virginity to. But, thankfully my newly found grocery clerk best friend and I shared certain values. WE both believed in throwing away our daughters clothes when they got too tight, NOT letting young people talk to us as adults, NOT letting the TV raise our children. Also answering our kids questions openly and honestly about everything from sex to drugs and NOT leaving it to their well meaning, misguided friends.
Finally and MOST IMPORTANTLY giving out regular @ss whoopins as needed with no fear of our children calling the police, or better yet HOPING the police will show up as we are administering the @ss whoopin . Both of us trusting in the wisdom of an @ss whoopin to insure our children would become the well rounded, respectable adults they now are.
So there you have it! This ridiculous rant among 2 strangers somewhere in a line between the tampon aisle and the frozen food section is how we went from WIC bread to @ss whoopins in 7 min flat.....hmmmmm
